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I don’t need to watch the documentary that exposes the wrongdoing of the Hillsong megachurch, because I’ve seen it before. Many times.

I know there will be probably be interviews of people whose lives been altered, damaged, even broken by the church. There will be stories delivered on streams of tears of women objectified, sexualized and taken advantage of. There will be overwhelming evidence of men exerting their power, of rape, of tax evasions or manipulations, of cheating.

And I know I’ll get that terrible-awful feeling in the pit of my stomach watching it, a sickly mixture of anger, pity for those affected, and cringe to watch yet another church, yet another pastor fall.

I don’t need to watch it to feel that already.

But here’s what I know after seeing this happen for the umpteenth time in my thirty years.

The church is not God. Yes, the church is the body of Christ (Eph 2:10). The hands and feet of Jesus, they say, right? It cannot exist apart from Him, but here’s the thing. He can and does exist apart from it (Jn 5:26). So just because the church (read: people) falls and fails, it doesn’t mean He does. It doesn’t mean God is bad or is fake or any other accusations that will come in response to this documentary.

God is not the church.

God is not the people.

God did not fail.

People did when they chose their own way.

And people caused the hurt and the brokenness I imagine the documentary will highlight.

God is Christ. And He stands distinct from who we are. He’s not like us in our scandals, our crimes, our disgrace; that’s why we elevate Him, sing songs to Him, even use His name for our gain (Num 23:19). He is better. But lest we forget, He is God of imperfect people, myself included. It’s why He came. So it doesn’t matter how many pastors and brick and mortar church institutions fall, God never does. His word never changes. He is always the same. And He never fails.

It’s His mercy that exposes the scandal and the controversy. Crap has to be brought out into the light and dealt with so it can stop stinkin’ up the place, but let’s be sure to distinguish it as the people’s crap, not His.

One thing I don’t want to do is diminish the damage done here, because I’ve been there. The trauma of those affected needs to be identified and tended to, and I respect and applaud those who, I imagine, will share their stories, and thousands of others like them. But as someone who has also been hurt by the church (people) and is still healing…it’s just a group of imperfect people struggling and oftentimes failing, like me, albeit on a grander stage.

So, I won’t be watching the documentary, because I’ve already seen it, and I know how the story ends, and, if I can borrow from one of my favorite songs by Brandi Carlile, “the jokes on them.”