Wish I Was Here: an Anti-Memoir is about the negative space of one writer seeking to say the things he doesn’t know how to say and to understand who he was. The book slides through dozens of short snippets of the author’s memory delivered in present and past tense. We meet hazy, dreamlike characters from the author’s life and journey, occasionally getting a practical piece of insight or perspective on writing. Based on the anti-memoir genre, it mostly tracks, but I do see the narrative element lacking.
What Drew Me In
The subtitle and the idea of reading an “anti-memoir” by a writer drew me in, but after browsing through a few pages, I wanted to move on. Nonetheless, I persisted. I found the anti-memoir to be unnecessarily and inapproachably complex like David Foster Wallace. I appreciate M. John Harrison’s writing process and perspective. As a book, however, the inaccessibility to most readers frustrates me. I feel a bit like the advisors, confidants, and people on the streets watching the emperor glide through his parade with his “new clothes” in the classic folktale, The Emperor’s New Clothes. I have this feeling like, “Oh my goodness, I should get this! Why don’t I get this? This is probably something a lot of smart people get. I should just pretend I get it. I should love this as a writer!” But I don’t. It’s boring. It does not grab quickly enough. The prose is confusing. The details are erratic and their significance, fuzzy. Maybe I am dumb, but I am calling it. I think the emperor is naked.
What Pushed Me Away
From an editorial perspective, the loose structure of the book is concerning. 40 pages in and there is still no clear sense of direction. It could be off-putting for readers. The meanderings from section to section work to convey the slipperiness of the writer’s mind and identity but I would suggest the author build into the book a spine to connect ideas and give a clear path. The author might consider reworking the epilogue to be a prologue. Without doing so, the author risks losing his audience and the potential book browsers leafing through the first few pages. Another option is to condense and serialize the book into a periodical like The New Yorker or as a collection of short essays. To the author’s credit, he does what he intends as he “aims to create a space the reader can only navigate with a kind of emotional sonar” and to “never favor plot”. But 250 pages is a long way to rely on an emotional sonar without motivation. I would suggest the author prepare his readers for the journey the book takes. He might consider meeting his readers halfway by assuring them they are not dumb if they get lost along the way and that, yes, the contents are a bit confusing and out there, but it’s part of the experience.
Will It Sell?
There is a market for this book and I see it generating interest and buzz in literary spaces where a deep interest in the author’s process and mindset abides. M. John Harrison is an established fiction author with a following; his readers will likely be interested in knowing the man behind the books. The intellectual hopefuls browsing the Best Seller shelf at Barnes & Noble in the States will likely purchase as well. A UK-authored book (especially by a prolific writer) tends to imbue a sense of intellectualism to many Americans even if it only leaves the shelf in their home every six months.
I can see this book promoted and celebrated by critics and booksellers for its new, experimental take on the traditional memoir. I anticipate it will be lauded for its bravery and clever sentence structure, and for its rebellion against more traditional modes of syntax and structure. It will be regarded as a work of art, influential and reflective of its cultural context and unique authorial experience.
Despite my negative feelings towards the anti-memoir, I feel the need to remind readers that M. John Harrison has written over 25 books. This is his “Go scratch!” book. You don’t like it? He doesn’t care. He’s earned his right to publish a book exactly how he wants it published. And to that, Mr. Harrison, I tip my proverbial hat.
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Authors Note: Thank you for reading my article and I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to hold down those little clapping hands till they hit 50 and leave your thoughts or links to articles you’ve written or think might be of interest. If you’d like to see more of my writing, check of similar posts.
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