- A quiet acquisition.
- Mastering the art of a towel-sandwich.
- Evading hotel employees.
If while staying at the five star Loews Regency New York hotel on the Upper West Side in New York City a traveler should find themselves in need of doing the laundry, they might find the amenity list the hotel provides. And if that traveler has an Amex Platinum Card with added benefits like free breakfast, a hotel credit, and late check-out at their Fine Hotels & Resorts collection — of which Loews Regency New York is a member — they might be tempted to think laundry is also a perk, only to realize, it’s not. So then, slightly dejected, but reasoning that the cost of laundry is a small price to pay for a room purchased with Amex Rewards, they may open the closet to find a bag, sometimes two, for laundry service. Along with that bag, they may find a list of laundry items eligible to be sent out, along with pricing. On that price list, one line in particular may catch their eye.
Socks – $10
Let’s pause here.
If you, reader, are the type of traveler who can send a pair of socks to be washed for $10 without blinking an eye, then this article is not for you. If however, upon seeing aforementioned price, you’re liable to draw back, aghast and comment that you’re “staying on points”, fear not, we have a solution for you. Getting your clothes washed for FREE at a luxury hotel is simple and straightforward. Here’s how to do it.
Step One: Acquire Detergent
Walk down to the end of the street, cross the avenue, turn the corner and enter into the Duane Reade. Choose the cheapest detergent you can find. You won’t need much. Purchase at the counter. Walk back to the hotel. Hide the detergent in your coat before the dapper door man comes into view. Keep the detergent hidden as you walk over the marbled floors, past the elegant restaurant and onto the chrome-trimmed elevators.
Step Two: Wash Clothes
Back in your hotel room, phone housekeeping for several extra bath towels. They’ll come into play later. That done, fill the tub halfway with water. Empty half a capful of detergent into the tub. Swirl it around with your hand. Dump the dirty laundry in the tub. Swirl it around again. Let soak for 5-10 minutes.
Step Three: Rinse Clothes
When the clothes are fully soaked through, scrub them, mush them, wring them, and grind them in your hands, paying particular attention to high odor areas such as the armpit and the crotch. You may find it easier to undress down to your skivvies (if you have any left) and get in the tub to do this. When you’ve repeated that process 2 or 3 times, drain the tub, keeping the water running and rinse, rinse, rinse. Turn off the water once the clothes are suds free. Stomp on the clothes, scrunch them between your toes and wring them out with your hands to get as much water out as you can. Repeat this process if they are still soapy at all.
Step Four: Dry Clothes
When the clothes are well rinsed and not dripping, lay out an extra towel on the floor, flat (depending on towel thickness, two may be necessary for the bottom layer. Lay each item of clothing flat on the towel, laying another large towel on top. Make a laundry sandwich and stomp. Then, roll the laundry sandwich up tightly like a cigarette and stomp again, walking back and forth over the length of the towel. Unroll and hang each item of clothing on one of the copious hangars provided in the large closet. Keep the closet door ever so slightly ajar to hasten drying time.
Authors Note: Thank you for reading this story and we hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to hold down those little clapping hands till they hit 50 and leave your thoughts or links to stories you’ve written or think might be of interest. If you’d like to see more story-driven writing, check out the similar posts below.
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