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I’ve seen dozens of Youtube video headlines over the years saying something similar to my headline. And for years, I’ve been enamored with success stories of folks who boldly dashed the way of traditionalism to bulldoze their own path through the rocky terrain of entrepreneurship in the arts, or otherwise.

Well, it’s been nearly two months since I turned down a steady, full-time job to pursue art and freelance writing full-time. And, spoiler-alert, this is not one of those articles or Youtube videos regaling the success I’ve achieved after months or years of hard work. I’m in the throes, my friends — in the trenches. I’m wedging my foot in doors that don’t want to open for me (and my goodness, there are a lot that don’t want to open).

I haven’t “made it” (my definition of “made it” is not having to live paycheck to pay and sweating at night wondering how I’m to pay my mortgage) and I don’t know the secret to “making it”. All I know is to “put one foot in front of the other.” In fact, for the past two months I’ve lived and died by the non-stop montage of childhood tales and songs playing and replaying in my mind. “Never stare up the stairs/Just step up the steps/Little by little/Inch by inch.” And I, thirty-years old now, have finally heeded to those childhood lessons, have put my faith in them. If I just try hard enough, it’ll all work out.

Truthfully, I don’t know. I’m sitting at my desk, having just bawled my eyes out after a screaming match with God (I was the only one screaming, but still), coming back from a day spent spent hounding gallerists and artists who might offer me a drop of wisdom or direction, and I’m thinking… I don’t know if this is gonna work. I don’t know how to move forward, but I also know I can’t go back.

I firmly believe in my decision to turn down that job even with its room for growth in a fast-expanding company, its stability…um, its steady pay…….*ahem*…excuse me while I go throw up real quick.

Regardless of how safe that job was, it was the right choice for me to turn it down. After assessing my skillsets, my passions, and my purpose, I knew that job was going to take more of me than I had to give. We have such limited time, and I didn’t want to lose another minute of my life wasting the gifts I’ve been given. And however this ends up, nothing is for naught. What I’ve learned so far, I hope, will push me further still, or perhaps in another direction entirely. But never back.

So. You didn’t ask for it. But you’re going to get it. Three things I’m learning.

There are only so many hours in a day.

No matter how you twist and turn and manipulate your days’ tasks, a day is always 24 hours. Now, you can stretch it, as I’ve tried to do, by expanding your waking hours and sleeping less, becoming a joy to those around you while doubling, tripling, QUADRUPLING your productivity… But that’s not likely to happen.

Prioritization is incredibly important. That mean prioritizing your health, your mental health, and really practicing some discernment. What needs to get done today? What can wait until tomorrow? What task will be worthwhile your time? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve kicked myself (thus far, still more to come) for shooting the breeze. Not doing my research well enough to choose the right direction for me. I’ve gone through the application process for art shows only to realize that they don’t accept my art genre, and I’ve spent hours on portions of my website only to learn I did it all wrong.

Do your research for whatever it is you’re doing! Be intentional about the time you do have, and prioritize! The first week of turning down the job, I had a list of 8 tasks I told myself I had to accomplish daily in order to be successful. That lasted well, a week. Which leads me to my next lesson learned.

Tasks will take way more time than you think they will.

We are not automatons or robots or superhuman creatures (sadly). If you think something will take you ten minutes, double it. If you think updating your website, or posting an Instagram reel will take you a half hour, plan an hour, or two.

Because in your haste, you might post it only to realize belatedly that your clumsy fat thumbs accidentally swiped the time stamp for a bit of text to appear the entire length of the video instead of the short, five second clip with which you wanted it to appear. And then you’ll realize that Instagram doesn’t allow you to edit reels once they’ve been posted, and you’ll have to do it all over again. From scratch. You’ll sit on your kitchen floor and maybe cry a little, watching dollar bills fly out your window because that two hours might’ve been spent better actually painting something.

It’s If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, but for adults. If You Quit Your Job to Become an Artist. Things take time. So choose only a few to do well. Give yourself more time to do them than you think you’ll need. And for goodness sake, go to sleep at a reasonable time.

You really don’t know, but you have to pretend you do. Kinda.

I started this whole shabang off by saying that I really don’t know if I’m going to “make it” as an artist and freelance writer and that today, I’m having a hard time believing that this is going to work. But, I guess, I’m not really supposed to tell you that, am I? They (who are they?) say that you have to believe you’ll be successful in order to be successful and fake it till you make it, but the concept of just saying I “believe” feels inauthentic to me in this sort of situation, like lying to everyone and myself when I’m not so sure.

As much as I’m a dreamer with ambitious goals, I’m also a logical realist. I’ve built my life on seeking the truth, veritas. I have trained myself to acknowledge and deal with my reality. I have dreams, of course, but I don’t live in a dream world. Therefore, it is impossible for me to look at my current situation and disregard the blaring obstacles and odds stacked against me with an empty, “I believe”. Because I don’t, right now. Or at least, I’m not sure. And that’s ok. I can be honest about that while still choosing to walk as someone who does believe, even though I don’t in this moment.

In fact, I’m doing that right now. This minute. If I chose to act as I feel right now — like everything is hopeless and falling apart and that I’m going to fail and yada, yada , yada — then I would not be sitting at the computer writing this. I would be curled up on my couch watching Gilmore Girls with a bag of Trader Joe’s White Cheddar Corn Puffs and half a gallon of Edy’s ice cream, taking shots of whipped cream, as I was last night. I’m choosing to keep writing. And I’m choosing to apply to juried art shows today. And I’m choosing to finish up a painting and work on my Upwork profile (yes, that’s a shameless plug), and apply for other writing jobs. And I’m choosing to be honest and real about it. Just because I am choosing the more difficult path doesn’t mean I have to pretend it’s easy. And neither do you.

Authors Note: Thank you for reading my article and I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to hold down those little clapping hands till they hit 50 and leave your thoughts or links to articles you’ve written or think might be of interest. If you’d like to see more of my writing, check of the similar posts below.